Too Accommodating With Women? Here’s How to Fix It

One of the most common issues I see with men struggling with women is this: they think they’re just being nice and accommodating, but in reality, they’re being submissive without realising it.

This isn’t about dominance or control – it’s about how you carry yourself in interactions with women.

In this blog, I’ll walk you through a real consultation call I had with a client who was facing this exact issue.

By the end, you’ll know if you’re doing the same thing—and more importantly, what to do about it.

Are You Being Accommodating or Just Submissive?

During the call, the client started by saying, “I think my issue is that I’m too accommodating.”

I stopped him right there and said, “No, you’re being submissive.”

He immediately pushed back: “No, no, no, I wasn’t submissive—I was just being nice.”

This is where most guys get stuck. They refuse to call their behaviour what it really is.

Here’s the reality:

• If you always agree with a woman to avoid conflict, you’re being submissive.
• If you prioritise her needs at the expense of your own, you’re being submissive.
• If you wait for her to decide everything, you’re being submissive.

The first step to fixing this is accepting where you are. If you keep telling yourself, “I’m just a nice guy”, then nothing changes.

The moment you call it what it is—submissiveness—you can start moving forward.

Are You Too Busy to Meet Women, or Just Avoiding It?

The second issue this client brought up was: “I don’t have time to meet women.”

I challenged him immediately: “That doesn’t make sense. Everyone has time—you’re just not prioritising it.”

After some back and forth, something interesting came out. It wasn’t really about time.

He had been hurt in the past, and his way of coping was to shut down and become rigid with his time and energy.

This is a common pattern I see with men:

• After a bad breakup, they become guarded.
• They tell themselves they’re too busy—but really, they’re just avoiding rejection.
• They become rigid with their routines, making excuses for why they can’t talk to women.

This client even told me, “I coach a yoga class, but I can’t speak to any of the women there—it’s unprofessional.”

Now, professionalism is important. But if you create rules that prevent you from engaging with women in any way, then you’re just reinforcing avoidance.

The key is learning how to be open while keeping your integrity intact.

How Many New Women Are You Meeting Each Week?

I asked him: “How many new women do you meet every week that you find attractive?”

His answer? “None.”

And this is the brutal truth for many men. If you’re not actively meeting new women, then nothing is going to change in your dating life.

Think of dating like a funnel:

• The top of the funnel is the number of women you meet.
• The middle is the quality of connections you create.
• The bottom is intimacy and relationships.

If you aren’t filling the top of the funnel with new interactions, how can you expect anything meaningful to happen at the bottom? You can’t.

You have to get out there—whether it’s social events, hobbies, networking, or even just saying hello to someone new when you’re out and about.

Why Video Coaching Won’t Solve Your Fear of Talking to Women

The client then asked me about video coaching. He wanted to get better at dating without having to meet women in real life yet.

I told him straight: “That’s not what you need. You need fear-based coaching.”

What does that mean? It means getting out of your comfort zone and actually talking to women in real-world situations, where there’s nowhere to hide.

• You’ll experience rejection, and you’ll learn how to handle it.
• You’ll face your fears, and you’ll become more confident because of it.
• You’ll stop second-guessing yourself, because you’ll build real-world experience.

Most men try to intellectualise dating, thinking they can watch videos or read about it enough to figure it out.

That’s like watching videos on boxing but never stepping into the ring.

If you want to improve in dating, you have to take action in the real world.

How to Fix This and Build an Abundant Dating Life

So, what would happen if this client took my coaching and actually applied it?

• He would stop making excuses about being too busy.
• He would meet more women every week by prioritising social opportunities.
• He would overcome his fears through real-world experience.
• He would stop being submissive and start leading interactions with confidence.
• He would start feeling free, rather than emotionally closed off from past experiences.

By following this process, he could create the dating life he actually wants, rather than the one he was stuck in.

Want to Fix This for Yourself? Here’s Your Next Step

If this blog resonated with you and you see yourself in this client’s story, then it’s time to stop overthinking and take action.

The fastest way to transform your dating life is to work with me directly.

I offer free consultation calls where I’ll personally assess your situation and tell you exactly what you need to do next.

Click here to secure your free consultation call now.

Final Thoughts

The biggest takeaway? Stop sugar-coating your own behaviour.

• If you’re too accommodating, admit it.
• If you’re too afraid to meet women, face it.
• If you keep making excuses, break out of them.

The difference between men who struggle and men who succeed is this: action.

Take action today, and start building the dating life you want.